My Child’s Early Temperament
We arrive into this world with our own, unique temperament. Developmental psychologists look at a range of issues related to temperament.
We arrive into this world with our own, unique temperament. Developmental psychologists look at a range of issues related to temperament.
Teenagers are commonly given a bad reputation for being unnecessarily angry. It is important to remember emotions are not bad or wrong.
The algorithms of social media are designed to be addictive. Without being an informed consumer of social media, your mental health can suffer.
You can recover from panic attacks by learning how to cope with them because the attacks will generally fade away once you lose your fear of them.
We are not born with fears. We develop them. We learn quickly, and we do not forget things that frighten us.
Good self-esteem is the ultimate buffer in kids’ lives. It bolsters them during failure. It navigates them through social pressures. It weathers their emotional (and hormonal) storms. It keeps their negative self-statements in check. Good self-esteem encourages kids to try new things. It helps them understand other people, and treat them well. It makes life more enjoyable. Self-esteem is not something kids build on their own. In fact, building self-esteem can have more to do with others than it does with the self.
Parents, your role in your child’s self-esteem is critical. From your child’s birth onward, you get more and more jobs in helping her develop positive self-esteem.
Birth to 1 Year: Good self-esteem starts when babies learn to fulfill their basic needs (love, hunger, comfort) by manipulating parents and caregivers. (“When I cry, Dad hugs me.”) There are 3 jobs for parents.
1 Year to 3 Years: Good self-esteem means feeling brave and secure enough to explore and try new things. There are 4 more jobs for parents:
3-6 Years: Good self-esteem is being able to do stuff for oneself. There are 3 more jobs for parents:
6-11 Years: Good self-esteem means comparing oneself realistically to others and, in doing so, seeing self-worth. There are 3 more jobs for parents:
12-20 Years: Good self-esteem is knowing who you are, and who you are not. There are 3 more jobs for parents:
An important, final note: mental illness is the arch enemy of good self-esteem. It ruthlessly attacks self-esteem. This can and does happen even for kids who have great parents. Mental illness can interfere with the development of good self-esteem from toddlerhood and up. When a child has poor self-esteem, particularly within the context of a supportive home environment, it’s a red flag for mental illness. The usual culprits are depression, anxiety, and attention problems. Signs of low self-esteem include:
Children with good self-esteem have experiences–often provided to them by parents–that prepare them well for their future. They expect to succeed in what matters most to them.
A common ADHD treatment is stimulant medication. Methylphenidate is popular, with trade names of Ritalin, Concerta, Daytrana, and Metadate. An amphetamine salt (trade name Adderall) is also used quite a bit.
Dosages are typically prescribed based on a child’s size. It is not uncommon for these dosages to be too high. Parents may notice a trade-off in symptoms, for example, when their child’s attention is improved but he is more physically agitated. This is one clue that the dosage may not be appropriate. Or, an “over-medicated” child might be sluggish, less creative, and (while medications are active in his system) lose his spunky personality. In other words, too much medication can smother the best parts of ADHD.
Stimulant medications take effect quickly. Within about 30 minutes, medication impacts thinking and behavior. Measuring the impact of stimulant medication has historically been difficult. Parents are left to their own observations, the hard-to-read self reports of their child, and input from teachers. With detailed behavior observations (such as how long a medication takes to act on the child, and what happens as the medication wears off), some gains can be made.
But, there is a better way to determine if a stimulant medication is effective. It’s called the Test of Variables of Attention (TOVA). It’s simple, short (about 20 minutes), and accurate. This test can be repeated time and again. A recommended use of TOVA is to compare a child’s “baseline” (performance without medication) against a medication trial. For example, baseline results can be compared for how a child does with 5mg methylphenidate. Since results are ready as soon as the test is finished, physicians and parents have real-time information to consider dosage or prescription adjustments.
A common finding from the TOVA test is that dosages are too high–meaning that unnecessary side effects can be reduced with the lessening of medication, while positive effects can remain. Test results can be very helpful for prescribing doctors. They also give parents clear directions on next steps in treatment and help with peace of mind.
The TOVA is also used as a standard part of ADHD assessments. From 2003 to 2007, there was a 22% increase in kids with parent-reported ADHD, according to the CDC. Research continues to find higher rates of ADHD. There is no single cause of ADHD, but some factors are known to contribute to it.
The Centers for Disease Control reported recently that about 1 in 25 teenagers take antidepressant medications, writes the Huffington Post. Depressive episodes in adolescents can look different from adult depression. For one, teens tend to show more irritability than sadness. Another difference is that teens are not as adept as adults in articulating issues associated with depression. Teens who meet criteria for a diagnosis of depression also usually have at least 4 of the following symptoms: (1) loss of interest in activities that used to be pleasurable to them, (2) changes in appetite or weight–either increases or decreases, (3) sleep problems, including troubles falling or staying asleep, or sleeping too much, (4) seeming either physically slowed-down or physically agitated and restless, (5) feeling fatigued or out of energy often, (6) feelings of guilt or worthlessness, (7) problems concentrating or making decisions, (8) recurrent thoughts of death or suicide. Depression is more likely to affect females. It also runs in families. Children who have not yet reached puberty are more likely to have depression in conjunction with other disorders–such as ADHD, Anxiety, or Disruptive Behavior Disorders.
If you suspect a teenager you know may be depressed, you should take action. Schedule an evaluation with a child psychologist. There are evidence-based treatments for depression, most of which are based in cogntive-behavioral therapies. You should notice symptom improvement after 12-16 weeks of treatment. If improvement is slow or nil, consider making an appointment with a child psychiatrist to discuss medication that may be appropriate as an adjunct to therapy.
Mental health professionals have long urged parents to limit kids’ TV time. Excessive TV watching has been linked to ADHD symptoms, and other concerns. Now, the American Academy of Pediatrics has recommended even stricter measures on TV. As in, no TV for children two years old or younger. Young children who watch TV have higher chances of developing sleep problems and speech delays. Beyond the speed of the frames (which seem to train young brains to attend only to super-fast stimuli), the content of programs is impossible for most babies to understand. In fact, according to Rachel Rettner’s new article, studies have shown that 18-month-olds “have the same reaction to a TV program regardless of whether it’s going forward or backward.” Yes parents, this would even be true for “educational programs” like Sesame Street. Likewise, the Baby Einstein shows have not been shown to help IQ.
What’s more, toddlers who watch TV miss out on an ultra-serious, critical event: play! Good, old-fashioned play is the developmental task for small children. It helps them build interpersonal skills, problem-solving techniques, and enhances creativity. Even having TV on “in the background” appears to have negative effects on children. Parents who watch TV while young children are around don’t interact with children as often. Solid development in speech, social skills, and emotion regulation happens when children engage in real-life dialogue with people around them. Play-dates, sports, clubs, social activities, and especially one-to-one time with parents are the best ways for children to learn and grow, and to develop into smart, effective, and well-adjusted adults.